Pregnant, toddler, pandemic, now newborn...I suck at this!!!

My last month in pictures

Trying to get creative during lockdown.

                                    Anything for a trip out

Outdoor fun and learning a new skill

Cheeky smiles before getting wet on morning dog walk just before bimpi arrives

6/5/2020 Charlotte is here and Kahlan is a proud big sister. No love like it!

New family of 4 (5 not forgetting Kibo of course) 

Someone turns 2! 14/05/2020 

Hard to top this...sisterly love 💕💓

So trying to get used to having 2 beautiful girls. Its amazing  and tough but I am excited for the adventure. 

Head mush

Today has been a day of 'should, could, would'. Although my time still feels limited with trying to entertain Kahlan and wanting to play with her and just be a good Mummy, I am constantly thinking of all the things I should or could do. When Kahlan goes down for a nap it is golden time to do things or if I feel up to it train. I want to make good meals for us, clean the house, sort out things for when Bimpi arrives and do things in the garden. I also keep going over what I want to do to challenge my mind and taking on some studying is on my radar but equally not certain as to what. The problem is all I feel like doing is sitting or lying down and grazing. I have taken up colouring after being inspired by the NHS posters going around. I do find this relaxing and takes my mind of things. I just need to be ok with doing things that allow me to relax. 

Hoping I can switch off and relax a bit more. Especially when Joe is working more. Watch this space!

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Cuddles with my best girl are the best!!! 💕💕

2+ weeks in

Settling into Isolation

Walking down the road, path or track and diverting away from people seems so unnatural. But then none of this isolation business feels natural. I think I am one of those luckier ones that doesn't always feel the need to go out drinking and doing things all the time. I quite like being at home and so long as I can get out for a walk and do some exercise I am usually pretty content. Saying that I am missing seeing friends and playgroups and doing different things with Kahlan. I am finding it difficult to come up with things to do with her and feel guilty, especially when I see how much others are doing with their little ones. But then they are a bit older and I think I need to give myself a bit of a break as I am nearly 35 weeks pregnant. 

We did get creative on the pavement outside doing some chalk scribbling and trying to follow the rainbow trend. Kahlan loved running up and down the ramp chasing bubbles and has spent so much time in the garden throwing balls for Kibo. I am just happy we can get outside and that she is getting to run around a bit. 

Being pregnant and expecting to have the baby amidst this crisis is pretty terrifying. I am learning to just trust that it will all be ok. People give birth and have healthy babies is terrible conditions and circumstances and I have no doubt that the NHS will look after us. I just worry about Kahlan and who's going to look after her now that my parents can't come. But I am sure that once I am in labour I will soon have my focus elsewhere (mostly anyway). I just hope and pray that family and friends will get to meet baby bimpi sooner rather than later. There are others in the same situation and we just need to be there for each other. Keeping active and getting enough rest and trying to enjoy time at home with just one little one running around is what will help get me through. Lets keep talking and supporting and encouraging one another as this pandemic seems to have opened lines of communication between close friends and communities and brought us closer together in an ironic kind of way...there is a bright side to all this. 

Lockdown

Doing our bit to help...and trying to stay sane!

Coronavirus/CORVID-19 is making history. And we are all a part of it, whether we like it or not. My eyes fill with tears thinking of the fight that the NHS is facing and pride for all they are doing. I wish I could do more to help but for now all I can do is my best to stay inside as much as possible and keep my distance, even from my closest friends and family, and reach out to others in a way that is safe. I will also just keep praying for things to become more manageable and for the decisions that have to be made constantly. 

I also need to try and keep myself sane by getting out in the acceptable ways and embracing the opportunity to spend time with my awesome family. I am also keen to help people who may be struggling with any musculoskeletal problems where some advice and encouragement may be needed. I know there is loads of amazing people out there offering free exercise videos and plans and I am going to try post some fun exercises to do with a little one. 

Joe goes back to work on the front line soon after testing negative for the CORVID-19. I only wish it were positive as this means we are more at risk. But I feel proud and support what he will be doing. I am going to struggle physically and mentally with him being out at work. It has been so great him being here to share the Kahlan and Kibo load, particularly with being 33 weeks pregnant! Just in case you didn't know haha. 

It has taken a pandemic to bring the sunshine out. Not that I'm complaining! We have tried to keep  active outside. Kahlan played with sand while I did a spot of gardening (if you can call it that) and then helped daddy mow the lawn :) 

Later on in the day we did a spot of family yoga :) Bridge where you peel your spine off the floor and slowing lower it down using the glutes and mobilising the spine. And Kahlans favourite downward dog stretching the backs of the legs and calves and working the shoulders and arms. 

 

It is fun getting Kahlan involved but still need to get out and walk and do a bit of cross training or Pilates, usually when Kahlan has a nap. It'll be harder to keep up that when Joe is back at work but will still aim to run after Kahlan and do some fun exercise together. Just keeping moving is valuable and need to keep telling myself that, especially as I get bigger and the fatigue of late pregnancy is setting in.

I hope everyone is managing to find ways to stay sane and positive in this difficult and unbelievable time were are going through. 

Let me escape

I may not be running but escaping for a walk in the near enough mountains helped to refresh my mind and spirit. Just walking with my Kibo dog and listening to an easy podcast where there is no signal to be tempted to check social media or the news. It set me up for a better day and my mood did feel lighter. Followed by amazing friends bringing supplies to my door step and just showing so much love and kindness. I am desperate to reciprocate and hope I can do in some way now and later. 

 After a better day as I write this the anxiety is creeping back in. And I am ashamed to say that a lot of it boils down to lack of control. I feel frustrated enough that I can't just nip to the shops and choose what I want to eat. But I hate that I don't even know what I can expect to get. For someone that has had control issues and particularly around food this is particularly challenging for me. I need to stop and remind myself that I am so so lucky that I have anything. That amazing friends are dropping things round and that I am well. So I am sorry for the frustrations and hope that I can use this time to work on my irrational feelings. I may still be frustrated that people feel the need to empty shelves and make things difficult not just for consumers but for shop owners. 

I hope that anyone who is struggling no matter if it seems rational or not can find a way to unwind. Chatting to someone, light exercise, a warm bath or some gentle stretches. 

Off to bed now praying for a better and brighter tomorrow. 

Isolation anxieties

Overwhelming Corvid-19

I think it's fair to say we are all feeling the strain of our current situation with CORVID-19. It is taking over social media, news, conversations and our minds. What makes it worse is that we are stuck inside without the usual methods we use as distractions. The seriousness and effects of it all is overwhelming. Although I would say that social media is doing an amazing job and trying to get the message and information across and help people, it can also bring with it more anxiety and stress. Everyone has an opinion and way of coping and we need to try and encourage and support one another, not criticise or cause more worry. We all need to do our best to honour the advice and instruction given to us. But we also need to support people in following the advice and coming to terms with what can be a massive mental struggle. I have to say I think its amazing the support out there with advice on things to do and how to keep busy. Let us just be careful in who we criticise and think about how we can help them follow the guidelines.

I must admit that I have been struggling the last few days. And I get frustrated at myself because I am one of the lucky ones. I found myself getting worked up over trying to make the decision to do an online shop. I decided to go for it but then felt pissed off that I have to wait 2 and half weeks and most of the options I wanted I ended up having to pay more. I worry about everything and like to feel in control of my spending and what I'm buying and when. So this has been a real battle for me. But on reflection it is probably good for me too. I am so fortunate to be able to get supplies, get them delivered and have friends drop things off every now and then. Its not how I would choose to do things but aren't we lucky that we have the options if not ideal? Yes, I need to keep reminding myself of this. 

In the meantime I need to keep getting outside and keep active as my energy allows...

Hill walks in the sun, ball throwing in the garden, inside swinging and muddy puddles!

Doing upright row (above) and bicep curl (below) with Kahlan. Can use theraband 

Muddy puddles

Stepping out

Forest walks during isolation

The government, quite rightly have suggested that we keep our distances and in particular those who are vulnerable, myself included.

They have also said that going outside to exercise is also fine and I would say advised. I wish I could (and felt like) going for a run, but I am more than happy to be able to get out for a walk with my Kibo dog and enjoy the fresh air, peace and solitude away from the constant news about the virus. Not only does it make me feel like I have escaped the 4 walls of home but it just reminds me that there is beauty around and things to be enjoyed in solitude. 

First thing this morning Kahlan, as always, once had her breakfast was full of life and wanting to run around the house. We started doing high knee exercises, fast feet on the spot, little squats and playing 'chase you (me)'. Although I was flagging until I could get a coffee in me, her joy is infectious and gives you an energy boost. So get moving with your little ones if you have them or get outside for a bit of fresh air and movement. 

I hope to try and set up some kind of video channel link but not being tech savvy in any way I need to figure it out, but once I do will try and get a few things up. I know there will be lots out there like it, but it will be good for me to get inventive and thinking one or 2 others may benefit is a good motivator. 

I struggled for the rest of the day feeling drained and emotional with all the news and some anxiety about having a baby in the current circumstances. I am sure it will all be fine but pregnancy hormones play havoc with me. I was however more relaxed about just being able to relax a bit this afternoon and even had a nap, with Joe being around makes it easier. So this isolation isn't all bad.

Lets see what the next few days bring? Stay safe and healthy! Just hope I will be able to restock on my food essentials 😝