Head mush

Today has been a day of 'should, could, would'. Although my time still feels limited with trying to entertain Kahlan and wanting to play with her and just be a good Mummy, I am constantly thinking of all the things I should or could do. When Kahlan goes down for a nap it is golden time to do things or if I feel up to it train. I want to make good meals for us, clean the house, sort out things for when Bimpi arrives and do things in the garden. I also keep going over what I want to do to challenge my mind and taking on some studying is on my radar but equally not certain as to what. The problem is all I feel like doing is sitting or lying down and grazing. I have taken up colouring after being inspired by the NHS posters going around. I do find this relaxing and takes my mind of things. I just need to be ok with doing things that allow me to relax. 

Hoping I can switch off and relax a bit more. Especially when Joe is working more. Watch this space!

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Cuddles with my best girl are the best!!! 💕💕

2+ weeks in

Settling into Isolation

Walking down the road, path or track and diverting away from people seems so unnatural. But then none of this isolation business feels natural. I think I am one of those luckier ones that doesn't always feel the need to go out drinking and doing things all the time. I quite like being at home and so long as I can get out for a walk and do some exercise I am usually pretty content. Saying that I am missing seeing friends and playgroups and doing different things with Kahlan. I am finding it difficult to come up with things to do with her and feel guilty, especially when I see how much others are doing with their little ones. But then they are a bit older and I think I need to give myself a bit of a break as I am nearly 35 weeks pregnant. 

We did get creative on the pavement outside doing some chalk scribbling and trying to follow the rainbow trend. Kahlan loved running up and down the ramp chasing bubbles and has spent so much time in the garden throwing balls for Kibo. I am just happy we can get outside and that she is getting to run around a bit. 

Being pregnant and expecting to have the baby amidst this crisis is pretty terrifying. I am learning to just trust that it will all be ok. People give birth and have healthy babies is terrible conditions and circumstances and I have no doubt that the NHS will look after us. I just worry about Kahlan and who's going to look after her now that my parents can't come. But I am sure that once I am in labour I will soon have my focus elsewhere (mostly anyway). I just hope and pray that family and friends will get to meet baby bimpi sooner rather than later. There are others in the same situation and we just need to be there for each other. Keeping active and getting enough rest and trying to enjoy time at home with just one little one running around is what will help get me through. Lets keep talking and supporting and encouraging one another as this pandemic seems to have opened lines of communication between close friends and communities and brought us closer together in an ironic kind of way...there is a bright side to all this.