Let me escape

I may not be running but escaping for a walk in the near enough mountains helped to refresh my mind and spirit. Just walking with my Kibo dog and listening to an easy podcast where there is no signal to be tempted to check social media or the news. It set me up for a better day and my mood did feel lighter. Followed by amazing friends bringing supplies to my door step and just showing so much love and kindness. I am desperate to reciprocate and hope I can do in some way now and later. 

 After a better day as I write this the anxiety is creeping back in. And I am ashamed to say that a lot of it boils down to lack of control. I feel frustrated enough that I can't just nip to the shops and choose what I want to eat. But I hate that I don't even know what I can expect to get. For someone that has had control issues and particularly around food this is particularly challenging for me. I need to stop and remind myself that I am so so lucky that I have anything. That amazing friends are dropping things round and that I am well. So I am sorry for the frustrations and hope that I can use this time to work on my irrational feelings. I may still be frustrated that people feel the need to empty shelves and make things difficult not just for consumers but for shop owners. 

I hope that anyone who is struggling no matter if it seems rational or not can find a way to unwind. Chatting to someone, light exercise, a warm bath or some gentle stretches. 

Off to bed now praying for a better and brighter tomorrow.